Peru experience part #2. What led me to drink Ayahuasca?

What led me to drink Ayahuasca
Your life doesn't get better by chance. It gets better by change. - Jim Rohn

So, where was I? Oh ja. In part one of this story I just broke the truth that I decided to drink Ayahuasca. I hope you’ve commenced breathing by now. As you know, I made it back in one piece. So all is good. And before you guys slap your foreheads in dismay. I’m not a delinquent. I’m not addicted to Ayahuasca – at least not in the ordinary way. Ayahuasca is not a recreational drug or short term mood enhancer. On the contrary. Ayahuasca teaches humbleness. Ayahuasca is a medicinal plant and treated with outer respect by the shamans in Peru.

Yes, I’m a novice with these kind of things. I never tried any mind-expanding substances. I can’t compare Ayahuasca to anything. But I can tell you that I didn’t bounce from one pink jungle blossom to the next. Ayahuasca taught me – more or less sitting upright on a foam pillow – important, positive and productive life lessons.

Ayahuasca showed me what baggage I had stored in my subconscious mind.

I’m in no position to promote Ayahuasca. Ayahuasca is prohibited in some countries. Ayahuasca is not for everyone. I tried Ayahuasca for my own research.

If Ayahuasca crosses your path on your life’s journey I stress the necessarity that Ayahuasca should only be drunk in the presence of a qualified trained shaman, within a safe and protected environment. I was at The Temple of the Way of Light. I will give more details about that in a later post.


Why did I drink Ayahuasca?

I’m a self-appointed happiness treasure hunter and health ambassador. But my work as a holistic nutritionist showed me my limits as a cheerleader. I was super passionate about holistic health and the body-mind-spirit connection but lacked the ability to spark other people. And that was demotivating to the point where I caught myself thinking that I rather not be a nutritionist. And it went downhill from there. I was in a depressed mood, couldn’t look myself in the eye and hated selfies. My life was full of all these amazing things but I was not happy.

Immersed in self-pity and worrying thoughts about the purpose of my life it finally clicked. If my unconscious thought that I’m a lousy nutritionist, what kind of image would my conscious present? And isn’t that the case for everything? Another example.

Apparently over 80% of women have a “I hate my body moment”. So we can say as often as we like “I’m pretty” but if we aren’t 100% confident in our heart and soul, we won’t feel and think that we are pretty.

The show of life is run by a superpower that hides behind your eyebrows. Our thoughts and beliefs, conscious and unconscious, decide where life takes us. And if they are not aligned, the sh!t hits the fan. It’s like sitting in a rowing boot and wanting to go West (consciousness) but not realizing that the current pushes you East (unconsciousness). 

If our unconscious is not convinced that some changes in life and nutrition will affect us positively, we will strongly hold on to our not so healthy comfort foods. We will never really enjoy sport and fitness and maybe just do meditation to get the doctor and concerned family members off our back. So I had a figure out what unconscious beliefs kept me from performing. English language barriers? Lack of self-confidence?

Human behaviour is based on human beliefs. Inner experience leads to outer expression.

My clients just didn’t need a nutritionist. My clients needed someone that knows how to bring hidden beliefs to the surface.

The very problem about unconscious beliefs is that we are not aware of them. How can you change something you are not aware of? And that’s when we find ourselves going ballistic, start crying or being sad without really knowing what triggered this behaviour and emotion.

And while I was pondering about my triggers, Ayahuasca showed up in my life. First a friend mentioned it. Then Ayahuasca was mentioned in different articles. Then I was dreaming about it. That was a clear sign. The more research I did, the more promising it was to me that Ayahuasca may hold the answers to my questions.

Not only promised the medicinal plant from the Amazon to be THE medicine but also to open doors to our unconsciousness.

BINGO! (This is where I got really excited)

To drink Ayahuasca was my ticket to my unconsciousness. Maybe Ayahuasca would allow me to re-write the software program my unconsciousness runs on. Maybe I wouldn’t have to go back to school and study psychology? Maybe I just could experience my unconsciousness and use the experience in my job? Haha, and again here we are. I rather experience something myself than take someone’s word for it.

  • Change your beliefsTime travel? Re-living situations from the past? *
  • Getting a glimpse at the purpose of life? *
  • To experience the world from a different perspective? *
  • Making sense of the words the Dalai Lama speaks? *
  • To be able to taste color, smell sound or see tastes? *
  • To learn the difference between emotions and feelings? *
  • To witness the own ego evaporate? *
  • To experience the relativity of time, where a minute suddenly contains 300 seconds. *
  • To get to know the beliefs of our unconsciousness and realizing why life sometimes seams so hard and confusing. So hard that all we want to scream is „WTF is the problem?“ *

* None of the above has to happen. The Ayahuasca experience is always different and individual.

Hell yes. Sign me up. Curious people like me can not resist to get their fingers on information like that. Once an idea is planted in our brain, the idea sprouts and becomes a craving. It becomes an insatiable appetite for understanding things, you just don’t understand quite yet but know that they exist.

Allegedly the positives shifts that Ayahuasca passengers experience are real and permanent. I was shown so many incredible things, I still can’t wrap my head around. No it’s time to implement all the lessons into my real life.

By now if you don’t think that I’m crazy than I would feel honoured if you would join me and help me answer and discuss some of my questions. After all that what thoughts are for: to swap, to deconstruct, to analyze, to test, to consider and to formulate new ones.

I invite you to become a member of “Team Kümmell version 21th century “ (remember the German doctor from part #1). What’s there to lose besides to put an end to an antiquated habit?

Curious about how my first Ayahuasca ceremony went down? Keep reading. 

Looking forward to seeing and hearing from you


Peru experience part #2. What led me to drink Ayahuasca? by
Tanja Knapp
About the Author
Tanja Knapp

Tanja Knapp is an Explorer, Adventurer and Happiness Hunter currently camping in beautiful Vancouver, Canada. Her roots are in Germany where she grew up on a remote farm. A colony of abnormal cells in her cervix taught her the lesson that would change her life forever. Life doesn't get better by chance, it get better by change. She truly believes in creating happiness & health through constant adapting, growing and evolving. Her super power is curiosity. With her blog she likes to inspire others to explore uncharted territory.

If she is not busy writing, running, swimming or cycling, she is expanding her knowledge, exploring the World, and taking on new challenges.

She is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist and graduated with an Honors diploma in Holistic Nutrition from the Canadian School of Natural Nutrition in 2013. She obtained a Hospitality certification in 1998 and a Marketing Communications diploma in 2004. She has worked both in Europe and North America.


  1. Max says

    Looking forward to hearing more Tanja. You’re a brave and pioneering lady, and I’m envious of your Peruvian experience!.

    I was hooked on William Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg and the Beat Poets in my student days in the Swinging Sixties, and was even the proud owner of a first edition of The Yage Letters (City Lights Books, 1963).. Yage, of course, is Ayahuasca by another name.

    Never had the chance to experience it myself, but I certainly would if i had the opportunity.


    • Tanja Knapp says

      Max, thank you for your encouraging words. I love to be a pioneer & adventurer and to discover life’s mysteries.
      It seems like we are made of the same material. You like to push your boundaries 🙂
      Thank you for sharing your stories. I will see if I can find the book. That sounds interesting.
      How is life? How is running.
      Love to hear from you. Tanja

      • Max says

        In Ray Bradbury’s dystopian Fahrenheit 451 (the temperature at which paper spontaneously ignites), books are banned, but exiled rebels defiantly learn to memorise one classic each to hand down to the next generation.

        The epigraph to the novel quotes the Spanish Nobel prizewinning poet, Juan Ramon Jiminez:

        “If they give you ruled paper, write the other way”.

        Makes sense to me and, I suspect, you!

        Life and running are good thanks Tanya. Keep doing what you do…


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